I'm sorry. This is ridiculous.
Earth quakes. Hurricanes. Droughts. Chilly evening August weather. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOIN' ON OUT THERE?!?
At least there's pie, right? Good ol' pie. Safe, comforting, easy (yes it is, believe me), and crazytown-free. Honest.
Dry ingredients get pulsed with butter. Let's get on board with cold butter. I like mine in the freezer until it's ready for its close-up.
Then in go water and cider vinegar. Cider vinegar makes a dough go all flaky on ya'. True story.
I like my dough shaggy. Resist the urge to make it come together with anything other than your bare hands. Love on that dough a bit and it will treat you right.
Blueberries. Three pints of blueberries and you're golden (well... after you bake the pie).
Berries get dressed in flour, starch and spices. And lemon juice. Brighten up your EVERYthing with lemon juice.
Aw. Cuteness comes in a double crust, does it not??
Trimming the edges is fun. Folding over is even funner. That's not a word. But it should be.
I'm not gonna' lie, kids. I can't crimp to save my own life... but this turned out so well I wanted to show you. Pies aren't ever perfect, and the edges I cropped out are the not-so-perfect parts. No biggie.
All those scraps you'll have left... I just can't help but want to make fancy shapes and whatnots for my pie.
Um... did I mention you need to vent this baby? Yeah. This is a rule. Do it.
Wash it down with egg. Cinnamon sugar? Yeah. Throw that on there too. Why not??
Bake it up!
A meld of Joy the Baker and The Pioneer Woman
For the Crust:
2 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cold, cut into cubes (placed in freezer until ready for use)
5 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons ice cold water (also kept in freezer until I was ready for it)
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1. In a food processor, pulse together the flour, sugar, and salt. Add cold, cubed butter, pulsing the butter into the flour mixture. The butter will be the size of peas. Stir together the ice cold water and vinegar in a small dish. While the processor is on, pour in the water and vinegar mixture. Pulse only briefly to bring to dough together, trying to moisten all of the flour bits.
2. On a lightly floured work surface, dump out the dough mixture - it should be pretty shaggy and loose. This is what you want. Divide the dough in two and gently knead into two disks. Wrap each disk in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour.
For the Filling:3 pints fresh blueberries
2/3 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground coriander
3 - 5 tablespoons all-purpose flour (depending on how thick you like your juice)
1 tablespoon cornstarch
2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 egg, beaten, for egg washing
2 tablespoons and 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, for topping crust before baking
1. Rinse and drain the blueberries, then place in a medium bowl.2. In a small bowl, whisk together sugar, spices, flour, and cornstarch. Pour the sugar mixture over the berries, and gently toss together with a wooden spoon. Stir in the lemon juice. Place the blueberry mixture in the fridge to rest while you roll the crust out.
3. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Place a rack in the center of the oven. Get your pie plate ready by placing it on top of a large cookie sheet. This will catch the drippings of any berry juice that might try to escape.
4. Remove one of the pie dough disks from the fridge. On a lightly floured surface, roll dough out into about a 13-inch round (don't worry about it being perfect... you'll trim it later). Roll the dough a few strokes, then use your fingers to move the emerging circle around the floured surface. This ensures that the dough isn’t sticking to the work surface. Try not to avoid tears in the rolled out dough, but if you do... they can be patched together with extra dough. Gently lift the 13-inch round from the floured surface and center in the 9-inch baking dish. Place in the fridge while you roll out the top crust.
5. Roll out the top crust just as you did the bottom crust. Remove the bottom crust and fruit filling from the fridge. Gently pour the fruit filling into the pie dish. Carefully remove the top crust from the work surface and drape over the fruit in the pie dish. With a small knife, trim the crust, leaving about 3/4-inch overhang. With your fingers press the top and bottom crusts together and fold under. Use your fingers to crimp the edges of the dough. Cut four small slits in the top of the crust so the juices and steam can vent. Add your decorations (from scraps re-rolled and cut out) to the top of the pie. Brush lightly with beaten egg and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar mixture. Wrap foil lightly around the edge of the pie to prevent over cooking.
6. Place the pie in the oven and bake at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes. Remove the pie from the oven, take off the foil, then reduce the oven heat to 375 and bake for 45 to 55 more minutes. Remove from the oven when crust is browned and golden, and the juices are bubbling. Allow to cool for 2 hours before serving. Place covered in the fridge to store. Pie lasts up to 3 or 4 days. Serve with ice cream!