Recently, someone close to me took it upon themselves to cover one of the top five favorite songs of my life - "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson. I'd been trying to master playing this song on my guitar since May, but for some reason the chords weren't playing smoothly (or maybe I just needed to learn some other songs before coming back to this one). Either way, when she told me what song she was interested in covering, it was everything I could do to remain calm while the giddy 12 year old inside of me was jumping up and down on her My Little Pony bedsheets.
Over the course of the past week, I've been sent updates of the songs progress, including layers of piano, guitar and, as of last night, violin. A few nights prior to the addition of the violin, I received the song in its entirety, without vocals - sent to me so I would be able to sing along. I kid you not... I cried when I heard it, just as I'm starting to now. Nothing I say here can explain how much this... means to me. For her to cover it is probably just another another, but for me it's everything. This song defines me and how I keep carrying on - how I keep breathing.
"I want to change the world... instead, I sleep. I want to believe in more than you and me. All that I know is I'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing now."
And I do. Want to change the world, that is. But sometimes I, like most people, can get freaked out enough to point where I just want to shut my blinds and sleep away the pain and anxiety that comes along with life. Bury myself in my mind and let the storm roll in, washing over me.
As I sat there last night in my car, I set my iPhone to "record", pressed play on the track, and sang. I can't lie... I used to get teary when I first heard this song played years ago, but then... I started to get teary singing it myself. She gave me something no one else has before, and I can't thank her enough. Her presence in my life has inspired me to do more with my music, my love of art and photography, and has brought my outlook on life into swirling technicolor.
I'm a firm believer that if you feel something about someone or something, you acknowledge it right then and there. Don't let the opportunity pass you by to tell someone how much you love/care/adore who they are and what they mean to you - you might not get that opporunity again. "Live outloud", as they say. And that's exactly what I'm doing.
I miss her always. I want her always. I love her always.