Friday, August 13, 2010

Let me get what I want

In the course of the past hour, I've managed to eat my modest Cracklin' Oat Bran (don't laugh), switch on some tunes, and make two pots of coffee. Only one of the pots made it into the carafe, while the other filled my counter top with the liquid goodness - such a waste.

It's a Smiths kind of morning here in the apartment. "Let Me" is playing in the background while I sip my coffee and stare out the window. I'm not sitting here trying to tell you I'm reflecting on the past 27 years of my life (well... almost 27), but it has crossed my mind to do so. I just keep thinking, "Why were we put on this earth? What am I capable of? It can't be that I'm meant to spend all my time worrying about paying bills, career paths and the economy!" We may not even be "meant" for anything at all, but long ago it was decided by many people that there is a pattern and blueprint for our lives: birth, education, more education, MORE education (if that's what you're into), sex, job, another job, more sex, marriage, kids, tenure at job, bills, taxes, retirement, death. This is is all very loosely put, but for a lot of people in America at least, it's the blueprint we follow. It's worked and will work for us, even if we have to kill ourselves to succeed in it.

Well, I don't want any of that (except the sex of course, and at least a fun job where I feel challenged). I want to do more with my time here and see everything I can. I want to get out, get going and drink it all in. The world is not "out there", it's here. And it's up to me to make things happen, to see things, to experience the world. I don't need the four walls of the blueprint to have a happy and fulfilling life. This planet was around a lot longer than the blueprint. The career is not who I am, it's what I do. The actions I take are the definitions I've chosen for myself, not what's been assigned to me. I have more control than I think. I work to live, I don't live to work. Everything we do up until our death is relative. If we haven't lived out loud, said what we thought, experienced everything we can, it's all just... filler. If we are doing things that drive us and fill us with joy and awe, we have succeeded. Life is what we have experienced.

It's going to be an amazing, amazing day.

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