I get so distracted... The smell of rain wafting through my living room. The rustling sound of the water gently disturbing the peaceful glass plane of the lake outside. Occasional flickering flashes of lightening. It all removes me, little by little, from the core of my thoughts.
It helps, you know, all these side notes. I couldn't long to be more distracted, forgetful even, of all that was said. Sometimes the people who hurt us the deepest are the ones we care about the most. For those precious ones, we let our guard down, open ourselves up, and put ourselves out there for them. And because of this, they better understand how we work, what makes us who we are, and which parts of ourselves are the most... tender. Those buttons can be both depressed and guarded by both parties. We choose to do this to each other. Choices are made, words are uttered, and hearts are broken in seconds.
My sensible heart keeps ticking on. Feeling how much it's hurting right now allows me to know myself better and in a different light. This sharp, crisp, biting pain is more pronounced than all the storms around me could ever be. And back from distraction I come.