A few days ago I was changing the sheets on the bed and thought, "Oh, Matthew's probably not ever thought to wash these pillows, so I'll just do it for him." Big mistake. HUGE mistake. I threw two of his pillows into the washing machine, put in the necessary detergent to de-funkify said pillows, closed the lid and started up the road to hell. Not five minutes after I began the laundry did I heard a loud "WUMPA WUMPA WUMPA!!!!" coming from the laundry room. I ran to the doors, flung them open, and immediately threw myself on the washing machine, trying desperately to reduce the noise. It sounded like two sumo wrestlers were duking it out in a wet pillow fight in my washing machine. Not only did I try and hold the machine through the spin cycle like some oversized baby (like that was going to work), but I ended up having water leak out all over the place. Did you know that the pillows with the special center core can soak up 100 x their weight in water? Those bitches are like mammoth diapers.
After I squeezed the living daylights out of the pillow, I let it drip and [slightly] dry out over the railing of our porch. I'm sure the neighbor below thought we had some strange leak going on. Or maybe someone really had to pee off the side of the railing. Between the noise and the dripping, I'm not exactly making friends with anyone.
It took two days of hanging out to dry and one day of constant high heat in the dryer to get that thing even close to bed-ready. I'm still skeptical that there isn't water in the center of it. Next time I'll just throw it out and buy a new pillow. Or use the apartment's washing machine. At least if I break that it's not my problem.